Coat Disarmed September 2002 One thing that I do need to make clear is that I am not painting about women. I choose female forms to represent the human experience because I think it represents the living –breathing-creating-dying part of our nature more accurately. We do not often see this in art. We are used to the reference of “man”. Throughout history, male forms have been used to represent us all. Just think about DaVinci’s study of human proportions. In evoking female forms- I hope to broaden our feelings towards ourselves. I hope to give to women a sense that they are – no less than. For men, I hope to evoke an understanding of their own very physical- breathing, dying visceral experience. I am not a feminist painter- I am humanist- but sometimes one has to go to an extreme to make a point. Our culture has been so masculine heavy for so long- we all suffer under this weight, as we all loose when we are not able to surrender to our glorious human state. We fight it; we try to control it. But in the end- we all die and letting go of this worry is the most freeing thing a person can do. I affectionately refer to this painting as the crap coat. It is the piece following twins of singularity- and many of the visual themes are obvious. Finding one’s place in the vastness of the universe- radiant nebulae representing freedom and release. Nebulae are those beautiful forms present in the creation of stars. What a beautiful metaphor! But in this case the nebulae can be seen as both wings opening- or even a radiant spiritual form of that ugly coat being shed. The crap coat. I am sure I will be able to come up with something more eloquent- but it does speak clearly of the baggage we weigh ourselves down with. I imagine it a heavy dark wool coat- covering our radiance- to hot, to big, smothering. See how the coat is made of those staircases I love? The ones that lead no where- the ones that you cant tell if you are going up or going down. It seems to me so often that in trying to improve ones self or ones situation it is easy to get caught in the trap of seeking a way out. Where I think it is really about letting go. Do you see how the misleading patterns are mirrored in the nebulae on the other side? They are also mirrored in the patterns of the stars in the sky. I left some of the space dark- my homage to black holes – my love of their power and presence and inherent role in creation. See how she is drawn to it. Just a tiny reference- but so important! My feeling is that one doesn’t ever escape ones life-or ones death or struggle, one merely learns how to live with it. How to give power to things that may have felt like hurt in the past- or behaviors of others that are perceived to affect us, how to stop fearing being hurt is fundamental to our peacefulness. Actually- Dack taught me about this facade of being hurt by others. All pain and all hurt lives within us- and it is up to us to decide to hold on to it- or to let it go. Letting it go doesn’t mean that its gone- life will always be full of conflict and struggle and inequality and injustice. Life is not fair. Its how we let it affect us that counts. Will you let it weigh you down like some old coat from the past? Or will you let it slide off. Will you let you wings spread? I chose to model these wings off the structure of a moth. Moth’s tend to be feared and less celebrated. Although fantastic in their gorgeous colors and patterns, we tend to think of them as gray and dull. Flying at night in their fluttering quickness- is it a bat? Get away- they are sometimes frightening- but it is their search for light that drives them to fly this way- attracted to the moon. What could be a more noble metaphor? Do you see the stardust falling from the wings? It’s the dust you get on your fingers when you hold a moth. How perfect that they become the stars. And in this image- do you see how the stars themselves are attracted back to her? Like a radiant halo, you could ask yourself if she is indeed also her own moon that she is drawn to. Now that’s powerful! Finally; her blue face. It’s he moment before her first breath. She is about to be born- as she is about to loose the coat. She is about to feel truly alive and in this moment, there is a slight fear- blueness is death; but here it is not to be feared- because you can tell that it is about to become life. See your fragile living self, stop holding her in , stop victimizing her. Take off the coat and let her breathe, let her fly into the dark night, let her find her own moon.

Coat Disarmed

September 2002

One thing that I do need to make clear is that I am not painting about women. I choose female forms to represent the human experience because I think it represents the living –breathing-creating-dying part of our nature more accurately. We do not often see this in art. We are used to the reference of “man”. Throughout history, male forms have been used to represent us all. Just think about DaVinci’s study of human proportions. In evoking female forms- I hope to broaden our feelings towards ourselves. I hope to give to women a sense that they are – no less than. For men, I hope to evoke an understanding of their own very physical- breathing, dying visceral experience. I am not a feminist painter- I am humanist- but sometimes one has to go to an extreme to make a point. Our culture has been so masculine heavy for so long- we all suffer under this weight, as we all loose when we are not able to surrender to our glorious human state. We fight it; we try to control it. But in the end- we all die and letting go of this worry is the most freeing thing a person can do.

I affectionately refer to this painting as the crap coat. It is the piece following twins of singularity- and many of the visual themes are obvious. Finding one’s place in the vastness of the universe- radiant nebulae representing freedom and release. Nebulae are those beautiful forms present in the creation of stars. What a beautiful metaphor! But in this case the nebulae can be seen as both wings opening- or even a radiant spiritual form of that ugly coat being shed. The crap coat. I am sure I will be able to come up with something more eloquent- but it does speak clearly of the baggage we weigh ourselves down with. I imagine it a heavy dark wool coat- covering our radiance- to hot, to big, smothering. See how the coat is made of those staircases I love? The ones that lead no where- the ones that you cant tell if you are going up or going down. It seems to me so often that in trying to improve ones self or ones situation it is easy to get caught in the trap of seeking a way out. Where I think it is really about letting go. Do you see how the misleading patterns are mirrored in the nebulae on the other side? They are also mirrored in the patterns of the stars in the sky. I left some of the space dark- my homage to black holes – my love of their power and presence and inherent role in creation. See how she is drawn to it. Just a tiny reference- but so important! My feeling is that one doesn’t ever escape ones life-or ones death or struggle, one merely learns how to live with it. How to give power to things that may have felt like hurt in the past- or behaviors of others that are perceived to affect us, how to stop fearing being hurt is fundamental to our peacefulness. Actually- Dack taught me about this facade of being hurt by others. All pain and all hurt lives within us- and it is up to us to decide to hold on to it- or to let it go. Letting it go doesn’t mean that its gone- life will always be full of conflict and struggle and inequality and injustice. Life is not fair. Its how we let it affect us that counts. Will you let it weigh you down like some old coat from the past? Or will you let it slide off. Will you let you wings spread? I chose to model these wings off the structure of a moth. Moth’s tend to be feared and less celebrated. Although fantastic in their gorgeous colors and patterns, we tend to think of them as gray and dull. Flying at night in their fluttering quickness- is it a bat? Get away- they are sometimes frightening- but it is their search for light that drives them to fly this way- attracted to the moon. What could be a more noble metaphor? Do you see the stardust falling from the wings? It’s the dust you get on your fingers when you hold a moth. How perfect that they become the stars. And in this image- do you see how the stars themselves are attracted back to her? Like a radiant halo, you could ask yourself if she is indeed also her own moon that she is drawn to. Now that’s powerful!

Finally; her blue face. It’s he moment before her first breath. She is about to be born- as she is about to loose the coat. She is about to feel truly alive and in this moment, there is a slight fear- blueness is death; but here it is not to be feared- because you can tell that it is about to become life. See your fragile living self, stop holding her in , stop victimizing her. Take off the coat and let her breathe, let her fly into the dark night, let her find her own moon.